Leather Strap On (bondage_heart) wrote,
Leather Strap On
bondage_heart

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My hands are cold. maybe i should have been a fish?

I was just remembering something. and it was funny to think that I actually remembered this and so clearly at that. I was sitting, spaced out as usual. no thought. no memory. no feeling. just staring at the moving lights and the people that were dancing along to the rythm of the music coming out of the speakers. it was quite amusing but I didn't laugh. I felt mute. I felt a tug at my left shoulder. a tug that pulled me from my reality into everyone elses. my eyes locked with his. a world of green and partly hazel now took me in. I was starring right into him and yet I convinced myself otherwise. "I like you" so fucking funny I cried inside from the laughter that was pleading with me to be left out. but I tried my best not to give in. and not to give into temptation. I looked away. trying to force myself to forget about my surroundings. I kept hearing his voice as he got closer. but I pushed him away. "why are you so confident?" he asked. "why are you so insecure?" I replied. that's it. I thought that was funny. "why am I so confident?" I am not. It is a simple answer to an absurd quesion.


I went shopping for shoes. shoes for my brother. myself and my brother, James. it was quite the adventure hahaha. and so I passed by her house today. or rather her old house. full of fond memories. good ones but ones that I would rather forget at times. before today I could not pass by. I could not look at her house without hurt. today I could. maybe it was because James was there. there to fill in the void left behind by her. a void I am still waiting to fill. still waiting for someone.
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